Who to root for in the 2018 World Cup

The 2018 World Cup is now in full swing with today being the second day of games and man it is already a doozy. Portugal somehow stayed with Spain and fucking Iceland just tied Argentina. With that being said, it is absolute horseshit that the United States was left out of the World Cup. There are some speculations why including; Trump, the Peace Summit, or maybe the Paris Climate Agreement, but I’m pretty sure that we just didn’t make the qualifier. So because of this many of us are left without a team, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be rooting for anybody. Here’s a list of 5 teams you can root for on the pitch.

1. Literally anybody but France

If you know Peanut Spillman you know that I am an American Patriot. And any true Patriot hates two things with a passion. Terrorists and the French. France is highly questionable. They stole our Flag colors with the famed Red, White, and Blue when their flag should just be white because that’s all they ever fly whenever any conflict comes up. Now people question me whenever I say that I hate the French because they claim that we wouldn’t have won the Revolution without their help. Outta here with that shit. Pretty sure we just did that to rub it in the redcoats face.

2. Spain

Spain is a classic team to root for in the World Cup. No matter where you go, you will somehow see Spain fans, or people claiming to be Spain fans. There’s not much controversy that surrounds Spain and I feel like the last political issue I heard going on there was Columbus enslaving Indians or something like that? I’m not really sure it was a while ago. But everybody loves Spain. It’s on everybody’s travel list to eat the great food and see the impressive cathedrals. Do yourself a favor and throw on the red and gold this summer to hop on the bandwagon.

3. Italy

Italy is a lot like Spain as they are a hard place to hate. Which is strange if you think about it because they were like hand in hand with the Nazi’s during WWII and Mussolini was a huge fascist. But how bout the food eh? You’re not human if you don’t love pizza, pasta, and all the other delicious, carbohydrate-filled meals they have there. But the fans in Italy make it the best. They go absolutely all out, and you have to respect that. I know I know fans go hard all over the world for soccer, but Italy is something else.

4. Iceland

Iceland is the Average Joes of the 2018 World Cup. It’s their first time getting a goal, and they have a goddam dentist as their head coach. How awesome is that??? They came in not giving an absolute fuck because they knew they were gunna get smacked. However, they are playing with house money, and a team playing with nothing to lose is a hard team to beat. They showed that today against Lionel Messi by shocking the world with a 1-1 tie. Let’s fucking go. I’m dug in on Iceland and going all in on them to win the cup.

5. The US of mothafuckin A

Fuck it. I don’t care if were not in it. If you don’t think I’m waking up at 8am, throwing on an extra shmedium Dempsey Jersey and throwin back a couple of warm Busch Lights and screaming at my tv while two countries who I don’t care about are playing a sport I don’t care about then you are sadly mistaken. I’ve said it from the start; Peanut Spillman is a patriot. And a patriot doesn’t root for anybody but his own country. Fly the flag.

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